Saying Good-Bye at Child Care

Child care resources for parents and caregivers

Saying good-bye can be a stressful time since it is normal and healthy for young children to have a strong attachment to their parents. Young children’s attachments and their ability to separate from their parents varies by age.

Children ages birth to 12 months are closely attached to their parents and are dependent upon them for almost everything. They recognize that Mom and Dad are very special people and prefer their company over other adults. Fear of strangers develops between 7 and 9 months. Separation from parents, such as going to child care or to a child care provider, is difficult at this age because children are afraid their parents will leave and not return.

[ad#ad-1]Children ages 1 to 3 years are more independent. They enjoy playing and exploring on their own, but may stop what they are doing to be sure Mom or Dad is close by. At this age, children may feel comfortable with other familiar adults, but will be concerned about their parents leaving them.

Children ages 3 to 5 years can do more things for themselves. They enjoy playing on their own and with friends. Separations from their parents are easier at this age because they understand Mom and Dad still exist, even if they are not in the same room.

Preparing Your Child for Child Care

• Visit the child care center or family child care home ahead of time to meet the teachers or child care provider.
• Tell the toddler or preschooler what will happen at child care.
• Read stories about going to child care.
• If possible, let your child stay at the child care center or family child care home for short periods of time to get used to it.
• Give information to the teacher to help her make your child feel at home.

Saying Good-Bye at Child Care

Infants and Toddlers (Birth to 3 years)

• Establish “getting ready” routines such as letting your child help you pack his bag or pick out clothing to wear.
• As you place your child’s things in the cubby, explain what you are doing.
• While holding your infant, let her look around. Walk around with your baby and tell her what is happening.
• Tell your child you are leaving, where you will be, and when you will be back. Do not sneak out.
• Give hugs and kisses and let the teacher take her.
• Once you have said good-bye, leave quickly.
• If allowed, give your child “security objects” from home (blanket or a favorite toy).
• Hang family pictures in your child’s cubby.

Preschoolers (3 to 5 years)

• Develop “getting ready” routines such as having your child choose his own clothes for the day.
• Encourage your child to participate in ongoing activities and play with friends.
• Tell your child you are leaving, where you will be, and when you will be back.
• Let your child participate in the good-bye routine by making up special good-bye sayings such as “See ya later alligator.”
• When you say good-bye, let your child decide if she wants a hug or kiss.
• Once you have said good-bye, leave quickly.

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Tags: caregiver, emotional development, infants, preschool, separation, toddlers